The real story from Valencia

Well, those hungry for a diatribe against anything other than heterosexual marriage at last weekend's family conference in Valencia, Spain, were probably a bit disappointed. Good Pope Ben made the expected statements about the family being the "pillar of society and truth" (the truth part is a little confusing), but for the most part he was subdued. Maybe someone told him that he was starting to sound grumpy. Maybe he was just off his game.

The big story from Valencia, though, is that Papa Ratzi may have actually used the Holy Grail--yes, the one Jesus used at the Last Supper. It seems the Valencia cathedral has an ancient stone cup, now attached to a jewel-encrusted (and damn ugly) medieval base.

Unfortunately, regardless of whether it is the actual Holy Grail, the vessel does not conform to current liturgical law on cups for Mass, which must be either made of or plated in precious metal, or at least have an interior lining made out of precious metal. Since it is made out of brown agate, the Holy Grail simply cannot be used at Mass. (You liturgical sticklers out there getting the point?)

In other words the pope himself broke liturgical law. Crucify him! Crucify him! Kids, this is why liturgical law is not in the Code of Canon Law; it is too easily modified and is practical (rather than theological or doctrinal) for the most part, which is why I doubt B16 was even aware that he wasn't following the rules. But he wasn't.

Even better, though, were the comments of the head of the Vatican Museums' department of early Christian art, Umberto Utro, about the alleged Grail, according to Catholic News Service: "It's impossible Jesus drank from it; that there were such rich and fine vessels used at the Last Supper was nonsensical," he said, especially since Jesus and most of the apostles came from humble or poor backgrounds.

"He most probably used a cup made from glass like everybody else," he said.

Whoops. Glass isn't really allowed anymore either. Bad Jesus! Bad, bad, bad.