Catholic celebrity saved from Scientology!

REJOICE! Nicole Kidman, former apostate to Scientology because of her marriage to the increasingly bizarre Tom Cruise, is returning to Rome. She was spotted at her parents' parish in North Sydney and is reported to have secured an annulment from Cruise. Thank God.

Now she'll be getting married for real to country singer Keith Urban, a far more wholesome choice. And she'll be spending about $250,000 to buy out the Golden Door resort for her guests. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll also be tithing 10 percent. Or maybe not. One thing at a time.

That's it for your Catholic-to-the-Left celebrity update. Next week: Is Britney Spears' marriage to Kevin Federline really "awesome"?